As a parent of an adolescent female athlete, you play a crucial role in shaping not just her physical skills, but also her mental approach to the game. While training, practices, and competitions help develop athletic ability, this will only take your athlete so far. The real long-term success lies in cultivating an athletic mindset. There is reason why so many people believe that sports are 20% physical and 80% mental. Even Serena Williams is quoted as saying, “I really think a champion is defined not by their wins, but by how they can recover when they fall.”
This athletic mindset is what helps our young athletes push through challenges, stay motivated, and grow into confident, resilient young adults. In this post, we’ll explore what the athletic mindset is, why it matters, and how you can help your daughter develop it.
What is an Athletic Mindset?
An athletic mindset goes beyond talent and physical ability. It’s a way of thinking that not only accepts challenges but embraces them. It is the ability to maintain focus and pursue growth. An athletic mindset includes:
- Mental toughness: Staying cool, calm, and collected under pressure
- Growth mindset: Believing that abilities can improve with effort and learning
- Resilience: Bouncing back from setbacks and losses
- Intrinsic motivation: Being driven by personal goals and a love for the game
- Self-belief: Trusting in one’s abilities
Why Does an Athletic Mindset Matter for Adolescent Girls?
Adolescence is a pivotal time in a girl’s athletic journey. This is often when self-doubt often creeps in, competition intensifies, all while social pressures increase. Having an athletic mindset helps girls:
- Handle performance anxiety
- Navigate body image challenges
- Maintain motivation through setbacks or plateaus
- Develop confidence and leadership skills
- Build lifelong skills for success beyond sport
How Parents Can Support the Development of an Athletic Mindset
- Model the Mindset: Your daughter learns more than you think from observing how you handle challenges and setbacks. Share your own stories of failing, perseverance, and learning. Emphasize effort over outcome and highlight the importance of determination in your own life.
- Encourage a Growth Mindset: Focus on praising your daughter’s effort, strategy, and improvement – not just wins and achievements. When she makes a mistake, frame it as an opportunity to learn rather than a failure. You can use phrases like “You worked hard on that skill” or “What did you learn from that experience?”
- Normalize Setbacks and Mistakes: Help her understand that setbacks are part of the process. Talk openly about how even elite athletes lose, get injured, or struggle. Encourage her to reflect on what went wrong, what went well, and what she can try next time.
- Focus on What She Can Control: Help her redirect attention away from outcomes she can’t control – like referees, opponents, or weather – and focus on what she can control: attitude, effort, preparation, and response.
- Promote Mindfulness and Mental Skills Training: Introduce simple techniques like visualization, breathing exercises, or positive self-talk. These tools build mental resilience and help her manage nerves before a big game.
- Support Balanced Goal-Setting: Work with her to set process-oriented goals rather than only outcome goals. For example, instead of “win the tournament,” aim for “improve my passing accuracy,” or “communicate more on the field.”
- Create a Safe Space for Honest Conversations: Make it easy for your daughter to talk to you about her struggles, doubts, and fears. Be a supportive listener rather than a fixer. Sometimes, just having a space to vent without judgment helps immensely.
- Celebrate Progress, Not Just Results: Celebrate her dedication, courage, and progress – not just goals scored, or medals won. Reinforce the idea that who she is becoming through sport is more important than any one outcome.
The Power of Perspective
Take, for example, a young soccer player named Ellie who didn’t make the team she tried out for. Her initial reaction was disappointment and tears – she had worked hard and believed she was ready. In the moment, she questioned her abilities and whether she should even continue playing. As a parent, you might feel tempted to step in and try to fix things, tell her it wasn’t fair or that she was just having a bad day.
Instead, her parent sat down with her, listened to her feelings, and acknowledged how much it hurt. Then they gently asked, “What did you learn from the tryout? Is there something you might do differently next time?” Together, they identified a few areas she could improve – like her first touch and speed under pressure. They created a plan to practice those skills over the next few months.
Her parent reminded her of past times she faced setbacks – like when she had trouble making varsity last season but worked her way up by mid-year. They talked about how these setbacks aren’t dead ends, they are just stepping stones in the process of growth. Ellie decided to sign up for a local soccer league to sharpen her game and even reached out to the coach who cut her to ask for feedback. That one disappointment became a catalyst for growth. By the time the next tryout rolled around, she was better prepared both physically and mentally.
That experience didn’t just improve her soccer – it strengthened her resilience, ownership of her development, and confidence in facing future challenges.
The athletic mindset isn’t just about becoming a better athlete – it’s about becoming a stronger, more self-aware individual. As a parent, you have a powerful influence on how your daughter develops this mindset. By fostering a supportive environment, encouraging growth, and emphasizing the journey over the destination, you’re not only helping her thrive in her sport – you’re giving her tools to succeed in life.
Additional Tools for Parents
Download our5 Things Not to do When Trying to Build Your Athlete Daughter’s Confidence for more tools on building the athletic mindset. And don’t forget to follow us on Instagram and Facebook for more tips on fueling both the body and mind of your adolescent female athlete.
If you found this helpful, share it with another parent that is navigating the sports journey with their daughter!
About the Author
Dru Rosales, MS, RD, LD is a Registered and Licensed Dietitian. She is passionate about working with families and adolescents to fuel athletic performance and develop a healthy relationship with food and exercise. Dru received her Bachelor’s Degree in Kinesiology from the University of Southern California and her Master’s Degree in Nutritional Science from California State University, Los Angeles.
